When hurt turns red and a piece of your heart is missing. When the cold bites deep and you’ve got that feeling like you just got out of surgery. When the only way to stay sane is to concentrate on anything else but how you feel. When you count the tiles in the ceiling. When you push the earphones closer. When you remember every nuance of every word of every time. When all this happens. Embrace it. Feel every feeling. Cry every tear. Sob every sob. Because this is what it feels like to have loved.

Page 1 of 1

Wednesday, May 19th 2010 12:56pm

I hate writing in here because it’s so fucking depressing and pathetic. A little bit of both. But at the same time, I just feel like getting everything out of my system and I guess it doesn’t really matter as no one really reads this anyways.

You called me on the 7th of May after not speaking to me for two weeks. We talked, and you ended the conversation by saying you’d call me on Sunday night (9th). You didn’t. I called you on the Tuesday night, you texted me back saying you were busy with the hockey game. K. And you haven’t bothered calling me back since?!?! Like seriously, as a FRIEND, the least you can do is call when you say you will and call back when someone calls you and you’re busy. I’m sick of being the one to initiate calls. I’m sick of waiting around for your calls. I’ve already said this so many times. I don’t even know why I’m writing it out …YET AGAIN. DLFJKLJF I’m going crazy.

I’m sick of CARING. That’s what it is. I hate how I have yet to go one full day without thinking of you at all. It’s so fucking sad. I need to move on because you clearly have— long, long ago.