Time heals.

02.14.07 - 11.30.09


When hurt turns red and a piece of your heart is missing. When the cold bites deep and you’ve got that feeling like you just got out of surgery. When the only way to stay sane is to concentrate on anything else but how you feel. When you count the tiles in the ceiling. When you push the earphones closer. When you remember every nuance of every word of every time. When all this happens. Embrace it. Feel every feeling. Cry every tear. Sob every sob. Because this is what it feels like to have loved.

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Saturday, April 10th 2010 1:10pm

it’s just something that deep down inside, we both know. we fit together, even if it may be as friends. so we’re still trying this ‘friends’ thing and i don’t know how i feel about it all. we talk on the phone maybe twice a week, but when we do, for over an hour each time. and in between the phone calls, some random texts here and there. nothing significant. nothing about the past. nothing about us. just friendly texts and conversations. it’s good, i guess. it’s nice to talk to you occasionally and keep in touch. after all, we did spend three years loving and caring for each other. but because of that, i don’t think i’ll ever feel plain FRIENDSHIP towards you. there’s always going to be something more. there’s always going to be a part of me that overly cares about you. and what sucks is that i don’t think this feeling is reciprocated. i wish i knew how you felt about everything, but i don’t think you’re ever going to open up to me again. honestly, you talk to me about the most boring things sometimes. telling me about hockey and your xbox and random things that i don’t give a SHIT about. but i listen. i listen because even if i don’t care about the things you talk about, i care about you. when other guys talk to me about things i don’t care about, i plain & simply don’t care. why should it be different with you. while i don’t think i like you anymore, i’m still hung onto you in some way, and it’s holding me back from moving on. aaaand what the frig this entry was all over the place. just wanted to get my thoughts down.

it’s just something that deep down inside, we both know. we fit together, even if it may be as friends. so we’re still trying this ‘friends’ thing and i don’t know how i feel about it all. we talk on the phone maybe twice a week, but when we do, for over an hour each time. and in between the phone calls, some random texts here and there. nothing significant. nothing about the past. nothing about us. just friendly texts and conversations.

it’s good, i guess. it’s nice to talk to you occasionally and keep in touch. after all, we did spend three years loving and caring for each other. but because of that, i don’t think i’ll ever feel plain FRIENDSHIP towards you. there’s always going to be something more. there’s always going to be a part of me that overly cares about you. and what sucks is that i don’t think this feeling is reciprocated. i wish i knew how you felt about everything, but i don’t think you’re ever going to open up to me again.

honestly, you talk to me about the most boring things sometimes. telling me about hockey and your xbox and random things that i don’t give a SHIT about. but i listen. i listen because even if i don’t care about the things you talk about, i care about you. when other guys talk to me about things i don’t care about, i plain & simply don’t care. why should it be different with you.

while i don’t think i like you anymore, i’m still hung onto you in some way, and it’s holding me back from moving on.

aaaand what the frig this entry was all over the place. just wanted to get my thoughts down.