Time heals.

02.14.07 - 11.30.09

When hurt turns red and a piece of your heart is missing. When the cold bites deep and you’ve got that feeling like you just got out of surgery. When the only way to stay sane is to concentrate on anything else but how you feel. When you count the tiles in the ceiling. When you push the earphones closer. When you remember every nuance of every word of every time. When all this happens. Embrace it. Feel every feeling. Cry every tear. Sob every sob. Because this is what it feels like to have loved.

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Sunday, March 28th 2010 8:06pm

For my own record.

Friday night: he called at 2am. Nicky stopped me from calling him back (why is she conveniently there everytime he calls? or is it a sign?) I texted him that my calling card ran out (lie), and he said it was okay. Nicky made me reply with “maybe you should get a calling card” (totally out of my character) and he said “I certainly will this week.”

Saturday night: came home after the club and texted him asking if he was still up. He was, so I decided to call him. It was 3:30am. we talked like friends. it wasn’t awkward, it was just like before. i stupidly confessed that i still had him on my my5, but he already knew that i wasn’t the one who told him to buy a calling card. i guess i just want him to know that i’m there for him and i want to talk to him.

so i don’t really know. i guess we’re trying the friends thing again.
my friends are completely against this and think it’s so unhealthy for me.

i don’t know. i guess we’ll see.