I said I wouldn’t post anymore, but nevermind that.  This is worth mentioning.

There I was last night, minding my own business and in the corner of my eye, I see my phone light up.  Your name and face start flashing on my phone … um, what?! Incoming call…. from YOU?  It’s been over two months since I’ve heard your voice. The call caught me SO off guard.  Conveniently, Nicky was over and did everything to stop me from picking up or calling you back.  I was shaking, though.  I never knew I could shake so much… from my hands, to my knees, to everything else inside me. My heart was pumping so hard and it was just a very weird feeling.  I used to get calls from you several times a day and it was a normal occurrance.  Now, one call from you and it leaves me shaking and nervous.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I had to call you back because I knew my curiosity would eat me alive if I didn’t.

We talked for almost an hour and time flew by, just like it did when we used to talk for three or four hours every night.  For the most part, it was a very light hearted, friendly conversation and it was nice to talk to you again. It reminded me of how well we got along.  We had so much to catch up on.  When you were talking about Olympic hockey, I couldn’t help but start tearing up. Of course you didn’t notice, but I just realized how much I missed you.  I missed having you go on and on about topics I don’t really care about, but still don’t mind listening.  I missed your humor and wittyness; your partial arrogance and cockiness, too, even.  You talked about how much longer it takes you to fall asleep than me and you brought up the times when I used to fall asleep on you.  But in all honesty, it takes me forever to get to sleep now. You were kind of my lullaby every night.  Now I’m just as much of an insomniac as you are.

A part of me is so happy we had this conversation, because I truly thought that by going “cold turkey” two months ago I had really pushed you out of my life for good— even as a friend.  Another part of me thinks this isn’t a good idea.  I’ve come so far without having you in my life, and here you are again, out of no where. 

But I guess at the end of the day, having another friend can only be a good thing. Thanks for calling.  I never thought you would.