January 2010
27 posts
Before going to bed last night, I was so sure that I wanted to get rid of you from my life and really move on. Then I woke up and saw the text you left me at 2:30AM — “Wondering if you’re still up...” — and then I fell apart again. Did you send that to the wrong person? or what? I don’t understand…
On my mind.
Get the fuck out of my head. I hate thinking about you all the fucking time. I have better things to think about than you. I have better things to cry about. I hate waking up and feeling empty. I hate going to sleep missing you. I hate knowing that you’re moving on with other girls. I feel like complete shit.
I shouldn't be looking back...
Email from you to me, June 4, 2007:
“I may not be the guy that you fall asleep thinking about, or the guy that you wake up wondering about, but I am the guy that falls asleep thinking about you, and I’m that guy that spends his day just wondering about you…”
Email from you to me when we temporarily “broke up”, December 31, 2008:
“I love you so much...
“I don’t wanna be just friends; not now, not ever. Those two words are...”
– Jason Reeves
I’m sittin’ here all by myself just...
From my old Tumblr, July 14, 2009:
“I wish I could hold onto this feeling forever. I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget how to feel this way because if one day we have to go our separate ways, I still want to remember how to love you.”
Who would’ve known that only a couple months later, you’re actually gone and I’m out of your life almost entirely. I...
“Things happen for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go,...”
– Marilyn Monroe
Go ahead and say goodbye, I’ll be alright ...
The Call
Last night at 11:30PM you decided to call me. To be honest, I was already in bed, listening to music, trying to fall asleep because I knew I had to get up early the next morning. I paused my ipod and randomly decided to glance at my blackberry (that was on silent), and strangely enough, you were calling at the same time. I was shaking. It was so familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. I...
“Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the...”
– Grey’s Anatomy
From my Xanga, February 15, 2007, 3:18 AM:
“It’s like you WANT to go to sleep, but you’re talking to the most amazing person in the world and you don’t ever want to stop. I’m unexplainably, incredibly, happy and elated.”
… I miss losing sleep over talking to you. I’d do it all over again if I could.
“How could you be so heartless?”
I can’t do this…
I know you’re “hanging out” (aka hooking up) with other girls and I know there’s one in particular that you probably like. I don’t know if you’re rebounding and just doing this to pass time, or if you actually like this girl, but either way, it hurts like hell. Thinking about you with someone else is killing me. I miss the times...
“Coincidence, that’s all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence....”
– 500 Days of Summer
One of those days.
for the most part, i’ve been too caught up with being busy and occupied and leaving myself no time to think except at night before i sleep. i don’t know what i was thinking when i messaged you on msn just now. i guess i just missed you. i don’t know what i was thinking when i asked you if you were seeing someone. i’m so dumb sometimes. i want to call you so badly. i just...
Rebounding is bad and selfish, but fuck it.. I’m doing it anyways because I know you are too.
A lot has changed since last night. I want to move on.
